A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
The most mediocre time you'll ever have.
Direct download: JohnMorganInterview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:01 PM

Hey there gang!

Welcome to our first show back from the "Tom and Dan Cruise 2015!" In all seriousness, if you're thinking about going on the one that we're planning for 2016, we'd love to have you! We had a fantastic time, met some of the most amazing people, and no one died! As Ice Cube would say "Today was a good day." (Quote totally does not apply.)

On this week's show:

-Porno Joe has porno powers

-Weird ball hair

-Tom’s cough crazy

-Tom might have alcohol withdrawals

-Tom suffers from “drunk eyes”

-Ross’ son got a fake sharks tooth necklace

-Pokemon market in schools

-Boomerangs as weapons

-Tom’s vasectomy plans

-Tom’s nanny is making his son soft

-We talk to a castrated gentleman

-Dan’s Mom finally picks up the phone

-Dan’s Mom was a juvenile corrections counselor

-Old LSD man

-Duggar family scandal

-Tom can’t spell

-Tom Vann: Man Part

-Sh*t pie

-Offensive shirts

-Horse Boyz

-Snail t's

-Cone bras

We're going to have tons of new merch on the site in the upcoming weeks. If you're looking for something in particular then you might want to order as quickly as possible. Seriously. Not saying that to drive sales - I just get tons of email from peeps disappointed that we're out of their particular size shirt or hat. Get on it!

You guys are the best and Tom and I really hope that you're digging all of the content that we're trying to provide for you.

All the best,


Direct download: Show315-HorseBoyz.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:17 PM

Hey there gang! Welcome to today's "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan" podcast! We're really glad that you're here and we're really sorry that the show is a day early - but not really because we're all going on the Tom and Dan Cruise!!! Let's not waste anytime and go to the tape:

-Tom’s baby got him sick

-Cures for illnesses

-Wawa étiquette 

-Blind people and touch-screens


-House of Grey Thighs

-Craigslist gone bad

-Tom sold a pelican case and Dan’s upset

-All scumbag listeners pick up the phone during the day

-Mattresses-worst thing to buy used?


-Diarrhea gums

-Race check boxes on paperwork

-Tom and Dan gay stickers?

-Affirmative action

-“GAY!” origin still a mystery..

-P silencer

-Travis is now #SenorFrog

-Racist meme

-Tom is Old Forgetful Bastard

-Skeet shooting on a cruise

We can't thank you enough for the supporting the show and make sure and check out TomandDan.com if you need more content or lots of the latest T&D merch. 

All the best,



Direct download: Show314-HouseofGreyThighs.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:22 PM

Direct download: Show313-ButFirst.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55 PM

Direct download: RodManInterview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:34 PM

Hey there folks!

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." For those of you that have been with us for quite some time, you guys know that this week has been a bit of a whirlwind. (Although I'm not really sure what a whirlwind actually is in that I have never really experienced an actual "whirl of wind" in real life. I'm assuming that it's a mass of papers, tasks that need to be completed, and meetings, based on how we use the term in our normal day to day vernacular.) Not only are we going to go 5 nights a week with our "A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan" show but we've been attempting to get better and better content for the Monday release of BDM member shows. Needless to say, it's a ton of work but we assure you that we're up for the challenge! We appreciate all of you that are listening to the show, supporting it and we're excited to bring you more and more content. On this week's show:

ACT goes 5 nights a week

Mythbusters is for babies



Adam Sandler hates Tom and Sam’s people

Tom’s got tough balls

Boil your balls


Data’s robot "D"



Tom’s fantasy with Travis Pastrana

Thanks to all of you again for your patience this week and you'll hear us next week!



Direct download: Show312-TommyPastrami.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12 PM

Direct download: MazJobraniInterview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:50 PM

Direct download: Show311-RedneckSwimLessons.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:32 PM

Direct download: EarthquakeInterview.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:22 PM

Hey there guys! Dan here and we're back on the ground. Apologies for the show recap notes and posting, once again, being a little late. As many of you know, it was my 5th wedding anniversary yesterday so I had to take the little lady out for some Japanese goodness. I thought she was going to keep over the table and kill me for my sushi. Unfortunately prego ladies have to avoid raw fish - who knew? Hahaha…duh. 

Tom and I really did have a fantastic time in both Vegas and LA and hopefully you enjoyed our recap of almost everything that we did! Thanks to all of you for the words of encouragement, Tweets, and Facebook messages wishing us the best for the 2015 Podcast Awards. Although it was not what we expected, we were proud to be nominated and happy for all of the people that won. (I know we completely sh*t on the night and truthfully I think they deserved every stinky ounce of it but we were still glad we were there to experience it. Even if it was just for great stories and no awards.) 

Special thanks to Carrot Top and his entire team for being so kind to us. You're the best, my man and I'm excited to get you in our studio to shoot the sh*t even more. 

My last love note goes out to Dan Cummins, Andrea Lowell and all of the producers of "The Playboy Morning Show." Not only do you guys have the best f*cking jobs in the world but you are some of the most professional people that we've ever worked with in our lives. It was more than a pleasure doing the show and we hope that we get to do it again at some point. You guys are always welcome on our show if you're ever in Orlando. 

And on that note - on yesterday's show:

The boys are back from Vegas!


Thanks to Linda from Advantage Media Solutions

Kite drones - wait - don't call it a drone!

Carrot Top Interview

Ross has a Dad dong

Podcast Awards

Tom was paralyzed with awkward fear

Worst announcer EVER

"Dan" is so difficult to say

Tom's pee pee problem

40 Turds

The Once a Year Sand Storm

Dusty Rhodes hosting the Podcast Awards

Best Baby Contest = $250

Aryan Bird Flu

The Amazingness that is Dan Cummins and Playboy Radio

Whiskey Pete's - No Need To Wipe Your Boots

Gratuitous Nudity Button

4 chili dogs at LA's Pinks

I can't tell you how happy we both are to be back with you guys and how happy we both are that you provided us with the nomination to head out to Vegas. You guys are the best listeners in the world and we're honored to try and make you smile each week. 

Special shout out to the BDM event that went on last night - I wanted to stop by but my allergies are still kicking my ass and my sleep is f*cked. 

Love you guys and enjoy,



Direct download: Show310-Vegasand40Turds.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14 PM