A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
The most mediocre time you'll ever have.
Direct download: ACTBestOf-41221-41621-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:55am EDT

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

 

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

Now that we’ve got all of that garbage out of the way, let’s get to the show! The Land Cruise is tomorrow, so I'm going to make this swift:

* T*tty Friday

* Butler picks out an anniversary card for Andrea

* Crazy treats crazy 

* Seth is MMAs Joe Jackson

* Email saying Tom is a dick 

* Manufacture buttholes

* Listener that bought Seth's old engagement ring calls in 

* Happy and the bobcat video 

* Karate party- break Tom's legs 

* Mama Vann Parliament Light stage

* Ed Tyll production notes

* Tom gives out sponsors names to scammers

* Nerd marketing calls

* Bob the website builder

* Garage sales

* Winning the Powerball

* Meaningless tattoos on TikTok

* Little John will look at your dojo

* Butthole Batman

###

Bye-bye. 

d

Direct download: SHOW_610_-_TD_FRIDAY.mp3
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Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_4-5_THROUGH_4-9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

Now that we’ve got all of that garbage out of the way, let’s get to the show! And remember, if you are wanting to go on the Tom & Dan Land Cruise, you’re going to need to hit up the Dr. Phillips website like NOW! As of this morning, there was like 2 pods left so you’re going to need to get on it! Here’s the link: https://www.drphillipscenter.org - it’s a fairly straight forward site but they some times release pods as they become available. 

On this week’s show:

*Sam slammed her knee on Tom's hitch ball

* Shamans

* Jacking it to yearbook photos 

* Dick up in underwear 

* Ross' news

* Coinstar paid off guy with greasy pennies

* Swiss Army finally issuing female underwear 

* Hacks in eGames

* Monkey with a chip in his brain

* Make a Wish Adult Edition

* Ben Franklin 1000- Frankin it Up 

* Butler's vacation in St. Lucia

* Butler acquiring weed on vacation

* Girthy Turds

* Hashbrowns vs homefries

* Colon-ary

* What the gush?

* Sex goblin images

* BigOlButthole.com

###

Ok. That's enough. See you Monday! 

d

Direct download: SHOW_610_-_BIG_OL_BUTTHOLE.COM.mp3
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Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_3-29_THROUGH_4-2.mp3
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Hey there, gang! 

Today was a sweet one. Nice and easy - nothing crazy - a little of everything - a little of nothing - let's dig in:

On this week's show:

* Butler has a big BH- breaking toilets

* Lil Nas X controversy again

* Alcohol effects as you get older

* Pinch the tip 

* Seth has low testosterone

* Sex goblin

* Karate money wheel 

* Buried treasure in the orchard 

* P eyes

* Resurrection eggs

* Gorilla t's motorcycle

* Proper usage of microwave

* Sam and Tracy on a jet ski 

###

Have a fantastic weekend and we'll see you on Monday for the BDM show! Not a BDM...get on that! 

d

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Thanks for listening, folks. For the 2-3 people that read this, thank you. Tom and I appreciate your ears more than you know and we're glad to have you with us! - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_3-21_THROUGH_3-26.mp3
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Hey there, kiddos!

We hope that these messages find you well, but yeah. How are things? How are those vacancies going? Anyone got the "poke" yet? Looks like being over 40 isn't that bad when there's a virus going on. Looks like I'm getting mine on Monday. Fully shipped. Just don't want to die and want to spend as many years as I can with my wife and daughter! 

Ok. So, we just got back from vacartion and if you're looking to hear any of that or to hear about my legendary "1000 vomits," then you're going to need to sign up to be a BDM member. https://tomanddan.com/registration <- Go there and you'll get all of the vomit. Moving on:

On this week's show:

* When the whistle blows, the chopper goes

* White Claw variety pack #3

* Tom Vann email justice

* Scavenger Hunt Cassy

* JillJoe and CaseyCassy

* Tom and Danitizer

* "You like fun and that's the problem"- Tom 

* Choppers take the blame

* Sling shot cable snapped

* Ship stuck in Suez Canal

* This stinks like chop 

* Teacher fired over marijuana

* Paid in pennies

* Novovirus/narwhal virus 

* Ghoul Are You?

* Put your glasses on to jack off, Pop Pop 

* Pudge in jail?  Go Pudge Me

###

Have the most gloriest of weekends and we're so glad to be back with all of you guys! Vacation is fun, but so is this! Have a good one. See you Monday! 

d

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I've got to get out of here! 

###

On this week's show:

* Toilet nooks and crannies

* Seth's diagnosis- SIBO

* Cuckoo for karate 

* ERP Therapy

* "I'm doing it for you!" 

* Leaving someone at the altar 

* "Too drunk" stories 

* Peepee in granny's laundry basket 

* Untouched Andrea

* Fresh book

* Frog pajama handy 

* Tom attempting kata

* Kiss the tips 

* The Grammy's 

* Signal-Tech voicemails

###

Next stop, Colorado! We'll see you guys in a week or so! - d

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Have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for listening and be sure to check out our YouTube channel. It's really fun and we think you'll get a kick out of it. All the best! - d

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* White Claw Iced Tea

* Tom's brown antacid pills

* Tom got accidentally high 

* Butler has Wolfman AIDS feet 

* Foot deodorant

* Mud t's

* Foot jobs

* Young grandparents

* Turd nugget 

* Ross' news

* The Weeknd pre-boycotting the Grammy's

* The Razzies

* Chicken killed a man, in police custody 

* Civil War gold

* Maisie's favorite drink is Diet Pepsi- Spicy Pepsi 

* Brad Williams Cameo 

* #FogHogs

* Pawn shop bugle porn 

Direct download: SHOW611-CIVILWARBUGLEPORN.mp3
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On like a serious note...it's straight-up amazing that you're listening to this right now and supporting our show. Thank you. - d

Direct download: ACTBestOf-3121-3521-FIN.mp3
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And here we are, 

Hey there, gang and welcome to another "A Mediocre Time with Tom & Dan" podcast. Thanks for listening, watching, and chatting, and let's dig in, shall we? 

###

On this week's show:

* High-def Missouri mirrors

* TikTok algorithms

* Seth kicks can off Tom's head

* Space hotel in 2027 

* Seth and Sam afraid of ferris wheels

* Man lived in O'Hare airport for 3 months 

* Wolf hunting season 

* Seth challenges Tom with karate 

* Baseball glove and opossum love

* Domestic dispute at Dunkin

* Eel skin wallets 

* Little Cheese show

* Butler inappropriate at Publix

* Master P reviews 

* Yaupon Tea collaboration

* TDTea

* TDVille

###

Thanks for listening, folks. We appreciate It and we love you. 

d

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B. E. S. Tee.

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* Grumpy Tom and the bento boxes

* Massage Chungus

* Mask on in the shower

* Raw Dawg Ronnie

* Tongue f*cker

* Working in the same field as your parent

* Ross' news

* World's greatest laser

* Lady Gaga's dogs stolen

* Ross the birdwatcher

* I hate acclimation

* Show me what you're shakin!

* Disabled rapper

* Barbershop linger

* Quit f*cking with the disabled 

* Where's my ramp?!

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We. Are. Besties. - d

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* T&D Land Cruise announcement

* Seth's anxiety meltdown

* Pedophile killing Spawn 

* Cancer Batman 

* Standard fart attack 

* 2 Wife Crew is here! 

* Butthole City 

* Tom's Hontoon Island birthday adventure

* I like my paths wet

* Peepee mound

* Aggressive bumper sticker about autism

* 80s-90s ladies styles made them look older

* Date night dancing course

* Triggering songs that bring back memories

Direct download: SHOW608-ILIKEMYPATHSWET-FIN.mp3
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Besties. - d

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Hey there folks!

You find me in a bit of a pickle as I try to edit this Tik-Tok video that we promised you guys! (If you don't know about TC and Sam's Tik-Tok Super Bowl bet, then you might want to go back a few shows and catch up!) But the video is up after many a curse word or 5 but it's there. Make sure you go and give us some love on the "TT." Just search TomandDanLive. We tried to keep most of it, if not all of the names the same. Ok. On to the show:

*Nothing to see here

* Sam's silhouette challenge

* Whoopee stories from the BDM page

* Mike B with the news

* Dicks out energy

* Eduardo Cubano

* Maskless grocery store

* 22 pounds of meth

* Butt slut * Guns n Noses

* Out or in? Nose ring challenge

* Tom hides Pig Tits painting during meeting

* Bam Margera meltdown

* Throwing Lombardi trophy

...

I gotta get out of here and see the fam!

Have a fantastic weekend and stay safe out there! - d

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Hey there, kids!

 

Welcome to this week’s Friday Free Show and welcome back to the show SAMANTHA! Man, it’s been strange here without you and I guess that we’re finally going to have to close the door when we pee. 😎

 

For those of you that might not know, Sam’s hubby Travis got a pretty scary case of the ol’ “Wuhan” and it actually put him in the hospital for a few days. Truly scary stuff but we are mega happy that not only he’s ok, but Sam didn’t even get the virus! (We’re still not sure how this works - how you get it - who can get it - whatever the hell. That’s just more of a reason to do what you should and to be safe out there.) So, we’ve been without our fearless producer for the past 2 weeks. With that said, here are all of the ways that you can listen to the show and then we’ll get into the normal show notes. As always, thanks for listening, thanks for watching and sharing the videos, and thanks for the support. It’s the most important energy in the T&D universe. With that said:

 

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

On this week’s show:

* Scheduling an ending for the show- show #1000?

* Bernie a bear?
* Blow machine
* DadCraft
* Level 10 Carl at it again
* Teen antics during the pandemic
* Paying for state park parking
* "Vogue" song by Dan
* Sometimes your best work is your worst work 
* Mixing seltzers
* Ross got a kidney stone
* French orgy shut down for covid curfew
* Which comedian squeezed the tits?
* Bigfoot hunting season
* Church of Satan house burned down
* DB Cooper suspect died
* The Nick and Doug show
* Survival nerd Youtube videos
* Mud engineers- Woman Builder
* No umbrellas at Tomb of the unknown soldier
* Marilyn Manson- on brand?
* Superbowl prop bets 
 
...
 
Have a fantastic "big game Sunday" and we'll see everyone back on Monday for BDM shows and ACT tapings on Twitch! Thanks for listening, watching, and being part of the community. - d
Direct download: Show606-GDBlowMachine-FIN.mp3
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I assure you we can do better than this. - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_1-25_THROUGH_1-29.mp3
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* Doctors and diagnosis

* Career day at school

* Maisie sleeps like a homeless person

* Andrea's triggered by Kokomo

* Kid swap

* Real women

* BDM show funnier without Sam?

* Explaining death to kids

* Hot dog condiments

* Romance vs Erotic novels

* Crystal's wooden chandelier

* Football stats meme

* WWE streaming deals

* Prop gambling/cheating

* Titty Sombrero

Direct download: Show605-TDSombrero-FIN.mp3
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Hey there, gang! We hope that these show notes find you well and happy Friday! We made it! So, I'm about to close up shop and the question of the hour is, where the hell are the new Tom and Dan hats that we ordered a few months ago!?! Man...they said that they shipped on the 15th and now I'm starting to get worried. Oh, small business fun! LOL Let's get to the good stuff:

On this week's show:

* Choppering on the Publix Pilgrimage

* Crystal makes Butler nervous

* Everything is a dong

* Crystal's TMJ

* What is romance?

* Cincinnati stickup

* Concrete robot

* Claudia call in to talk about her romantic fiance

* "The string is wrapped around my boner" -Tom Vann

* Religious hospitals

* Milk your t's!

* Unlimited BJs for a year to have another baby

* Chomp job * 90s Winnie the Pooh

* Bon Jovi at the inauguration

* Could you kill a bird with your boner?

* 100th day of school-themed day

...

Have a wonderful and safe weekend and thanks for all of the support and interaction that you guys bring to the show. It means more than you could ever understand. ♥️ See ya Monday! - d

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Have a great Saturday! - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_1-4_THROUGH_1-8.mp3.mp3
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* The leak in the studio

* Butler chopped the outlet and got shocked
* "Breakthrough the boundaries!" -Tom Vann
* 8-10 I pee in the drawer
* Tom's karate kick-- something popped!
* Moe Dewitt jingles
* Teacher and underage student news story 
* Cure for hypochondria?
* Species that went extinct in 2020
* Cumcicles
* Seth farted and didn't realize he was peeing himself
* Grift truck bit
* Blood dog
* Summer Aiello ruins Butler's Double Dare lie
* Editing karaoke lyrics
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Have a wonderful weekend, ya'll! - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_12-14_THROUGH_12-118.mp3.mp3
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Well, it's holiday GO time, folks! I'm not going to drag on for too long because I know we all have stuff to do but with that said - here's your FFS of the week. With that said, HERE:

Camera that goes in your ear

* Examine your BH
* Bullying the elderly
* Life advice from Mike B 
* Tommy and elf questions
* Ross' news
* Government was hacked
* Santa says No Guns!
* Hot Christmas items
* Twitter Killer
* Fuck you, Mike Lee
* Dan's iPad connected to Maisie's is a problem
* Company Xmas cards/bonuses
* Double S, Double joy!!
* Not today, Dr. Whitman!
 
...
 
2 feet in the Christmas tree, indeed. - d
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Have a wonderful Saturday! :) - d

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Hey there, folks! 

Are you in the Christmas spirit yet? I actually think that I'm getting there. And believe me - this has been the year of all years. I (Not gonna say it...but YOU KNOW.) And even then, I'm still extremely grateful to be able to talk with you - laugh with you. Laughing is SO important. With that said...

On this week's show:

* Fight Friday!

* Seth's panic attack birthday 
* Covid bologna 
* Elbow the grandma
* Company holiday parties 
* Concrete Mike got banned from Froggers 
* Man freed from 91-year prison sentence over weed
* Facebook is being sued
* InstaVann/Plenty-a-Hooks
* Pay-it-forward at Dairy Queen 
* Natural born stacker
* Tape mouth 
* Kevin Malone on Cameo 
* Dan's video game tales
* Pick the big penis!
...
 
Here's to a fantastic weekend and an even better holiday, because I know you guys are all trying to get ready like we are. Don't forget that there's lots of new merch in the merch section of TomandDan.com. These pullovers are fantastic and the softest EVER! 
 
All the best,
 
d
Direct download: Show600-InstaVann-FIN.mp3
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Da best. - d

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It had an old school vibe. 

That's all I'm going to say. 

Thanks for listening, folks! We had a really, really, REALLY good time today and if you joined us live, you know exactly what we're talking about! 😎 (If you have not caught the show live, what are you waiting for? Every Friday at noon, you can head over to www.Twitch.tv/TomandDanLive and watch, listen and chat with the show LIVE! It's amazingly fun and a great way for us to get to know you guys better. And remember, if you missed us LIVE on Twitch, all replays are hosted on YouTube shortly after. So have no fear!)

On this week's show:

* New Tom song- Lonely

* Horny bond with your sons
* Boo-kini
* Dan's been wiping wrong
* Dan's new sex position
* Lay it in the sink
* Cumlock Holmes
* Ross' news 
* What to get kids for Xmas
* Jason Bailey suspended
* Con Queen of Hollywood
* China put a flag on the moon
* German phallic statue stolen
* Fuck your syndication money 
* Accomplishing things in video games 
* Tom and Minecraft
* QVC picture
* Santa and Covid
* Sessions with Stan Lee
 
Why does it feel like we're the Lagwagon of podcasts. Like, we've just been doing it so long and we're going to just keep doing it until we're all dead! LOL 
 
Have a wonderful weekend guys and we'll see you back here on Monday for some BDM-ness. 
 
d
Direct download: Show599-CumlockHomes-FIN.mp3
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Nothing but the best...for the best. - d

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* Tom's RV share- has to change outfit to fit the part

* Big Epi
*  Seth drives his tampon car "for the kids"
* Seth's karate dance
* Tom looks at himself while banging and it looks like him sliding off of a roof
* Slam Hog
* Mike Tyson/Roy Jones Jr fight
* Netflix India controversy 
* Greg Norman's big ol beach D
* Like water on a goose dick 
* Priest pees on a passenger on a plane
* Discontinued cereals 
* Tom watched 365 days 
* Doing the Golden Tee
* Sledgehammer lyrics
* Addicted to Switch 
...
♥️ - d
Direct download: Show598-SlidingOffTheRoof-FIN.mp3
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A collection of what Dan and Samantha consider their best offerings from the last week of "A Corporate Time" shows. Or just a bunch of yelling. - d

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* Grandpas in porn

* Rakin the corns
* Key West Uncle Rico
* Tommy's ant bite scare
* Tom killing it on Mario 
* "I gotta stab your sacks!"
* Dan showing medical marijuana card to the bank teller
* Ross' news
* "Why don't my wishes come true?" - Tommy
* Rescued elephant from well 
* Pope "liking" Brazilian booty model on Instagram 
* Toy Hall of Fame inductees
* Cur your own Jenga 
* Underwater scooter getaway 
* Addresses on envelopes 
* Fresh Prince reunion 
Direct download: Show597-StabYourSacks-FIN.mp3
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Have a wonderful morning. :) - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_11-9_THROUGH_11-13.mp3
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Yo! 

We hope that these podcast notes find you well. We're closing up shop, editing videos, and about to get out of here for the day. With that said, peep the new logo for the year! We're more than stoked about it and the fellas at The Danger Brain did a bang-up job, and always do to make us look rad. Thanks, fellas. 

So on this week's show, we had the whole gang - Seth on the news and an appearance from BOTH wives! Can you f'n believe it? Let's do this:

* Tom is hangry 

* Tom's gums are bleeding
* Passing on oblivious traits to Tommy
* Choplocked
* Homeless Harry Pots "episode" in the street 
* Concrete Mike calls in 
* Seth cries during Karate Kid
* Miyagidook
* Queer eyed- Seth crying
* White Castle vs Krystals
* Microdosing ayahuasca
* Trash tapas
* Crystal stops by 
* Farmer killed by dog 
* Butler's didgeridoo
* Lawn ornaments 
* Special needs gift-giving- Plastic soup bowl 
* Cancerous gooch cramps
* Orlando girls eat butt
...
Have a wonderful weekend, my friends! I know that we might be limited in what we can do while this stupid pandemic is going on, but let's at least be safe. All love and thanks for listening. - d
Direct download: Show596-GoochCramps-FIN.mp3
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Sorry for the corrupt file earlier this week. I'm not really sure what's going on but we'll get to the bottom of it. Thanks for listening. - d

Direct download: ACTBESTOF11-2THROUGH11-6.mp3
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Pure insanity. 

That's where we are folks. And I'm not even talking about what's happening in the world, I'm talking about today's show. (Kidding...it was actually pretty mellow today.) Thanks for joining us and we're more than happy to have you. Today, we were lucky enough to have Ross join us on news, which is always rad. Don't forget that he's got a big comedy show coming up tomorrow night at Bloodhound Brew. Peep the link HERE!

On this week's show:

* Letting Tommy say bad words

* The "C" word 
* Mail on male
* Coming up with your own facts
* Streaming Among Us
* Baby leaves a voicemail 
* Smooth crackey 
* Dilating eyes- Andrea calls in 
* "She wants more than the can"
* Ross POS news
* Ross got his eyebrow ring ripped out by fucking
* Putin has Parkinson's?
* Shit shank
* Kids upstairs throwing sticks
* BDM lego tattoo
* Vito Barkinson
* Masked Singer audience
* Tom mumbling through commercials
...
Have a wonderful weekend, ya'll! All love! 
 
d
Direct download: Show595-VitoBarkinson-FIN.mp3
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We da BEST! - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_10-26_THROUGH_10-30.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT

This really is the last post from this computer. e had a client a few years back that helped to provide us with this wonderful machine. They made kill computers for folks that have no idea how to build and we're so good. The only issue is that (like most PC builder-mun) they specialized in only building PCs. Now, before you want to grab your pitchforks and run for my house, Let me say that I don't care. I just want an OS that gets things done and for many years leading up to starting this podcast, Apple and Apple products have served us very, very well. The only - only issue for us was the limit of the OS and money. So, with that said and with all of us enjoying the Mac workflow, we are proud that we have saved for a brand new machine that we're installing this weekend! It's gonna be rad! Cross your fingers - I'm nervous about the switch. 

On this week's show:

* Butler doing the Timmy all week to Tom 

* You spilled your dicks

* Boo bags 

* Pumpkin patch adventure

* Dick bills for Little Will

* Tom declares a prank war 

* "I'm gonna get ya!" -Tom to Butler

* BK taste test 

* Seth loves the Impossible Whopper

* Seth's douchebro news

* Mining asteroids

* Dump 'em out

* Tom and Dan look-a-likes

* Gloryholes update 

* Atlanta United player pushing demons out

* Dojo yo booty 

...

So, I'm yanking this machine. Wish me luck! 

d

Direct download: Show594-YouSpilledYourDicks-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:26pm EDT

The best. Period. - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_10-19_THROUGH_10-23.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:23pm EDT

Hey there, kids! 

Canoe Dildos for all, am I right? How are you guys? How the hell are you doing? So, I certainly have some notes to place here but I'm running late because we went late on the show. So, enjoy this shortlist and I'll fill this out a little bit better tomorrow. All love and have a wonderful weekend!

...

On this week's show:

* Max got sick- Wuhan allergy

* Hold your piss like a man 

* Tom peed in a big blue Bart cup

* Tom's eye exam

* Put me down for 1 snake oil and 2 stones

* Ross' news

* Tom Vann escape math 

* Hiding at work 

* Ross decorates his house with fake rats

* Butler's ex-girlfriend's cat caught a flying squirrel 

* Vivid radio

* Rock that clit

* 3 Men and some gravy

* Kook of the day 

* Anessa check in 

* This pump is for Carol 

* Complaining about porno

* Canoe dildo 

...

See ya'll tomorrow and thanks for supporting the show. You guys rule. - d

Direct download: Show593-CanoeDildos4All-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_10-13_THROUGH_10-16.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:22pm EDT

Hey there, gang! 

So, this is a strange one! We actually have a gal who was in the NXIVM cult and she was more than willing to come on the show and tell us some of the real! (She's a BDM too! I mean...we probably could have guessed that, huh?)

With that said, this was what was on this week's show:

* Dan's a frog dad

* Dan's old letters from when he was a kid 

* Teah- former NXVIM member

* Tommy's eye therapy 

* One chip challenge

* Seth's douchebro news

* Magawa hero rat 

* Man in a jetpack flying near an airport 

* "Looks like your ass has been twirling pizzas" - Tom to Dan 

* Butler Slow Poke Rodriguez'd the delivery guy 

...

Thanks so much to Teah for coming on the show and I look forward to branding her with T&D in the near future. Have a wonderful weekend and we'll see you back here on Monday! 

d

Direct download: Show592-NXIVM-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:12pm EDT

Hi. We're back. We missed you too! - d

Direct download: ACT_BEST_OF_10-5_THROUGH_10-9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey there gang...

All of us here at the studio hope that this podcast finds you well. It's strange out there, right? Little bit! People are all on edge. I get it. I get it. We all are. There's a ton of sh*t going on. It's fine. Put some dirt on it. 

...

On this week's show:

* Butler's proton pack 

* Bolo hat 

* Don't stomp the old man's mountains

* Toni is an American citizen 

* Toni changed his last name 

* Ross' POS news

* Nobel peace prize

* Country singer canceled from SNL

* Russian journalist set herself on fire

* Space force soldiers

* Double mantle

* Ross looks like Volleyball Keith Raniere

* Tom wants to brand Sam

* Mexican Street Cornpole

* Hunter's Creed trailer

* Brady lost count of the downs

* Dan ruined Andrea's bday 

* Tom fixed Spidey

...

Ok. Well, hey...we know that things are strange right now and many of you email the show and let me know that we really help you through these strange days. First of all, that really means a great deal to all of us. That's the reason that we do it. Well, that...that and the fact that we can make money. Money's good. Have a great weekend, guys. And as Tom says, "Stay safe out there." - d

Direct download: Show591-ProudToBeAnAmerican-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:53pm EDT

Hey there, gang! 

First of all, let me take a little space here to THANK all of you that have reached out about the loss of my Mother. I'll make this short, but thank you for your kindness and for reminding me that damn fine people are still out there. ❤️ you all. (Mom used to text me that. 😎)

On this week's show:

* Karate guys love rocks 

* Boner roll 

* Seth's rage for a Saab guy 

* King Chopper song

* Dan's old man mask 

* Seth's news

* Venezuela starving

* Inspect the plums

* Bumpy plums 

* Lady forced to forfeit lottery winnings due to lost ticket 

* Sleep swallowing

* Butler's proton pack

* Eating goat head

* People hugging for too long

* Prank encounters

* Hey Bart Simpson, let's go surfing!

* Tom watched his wife pee

* Sh*t-O

...

Have a wonderful Friday, ya'll and just know that no matter what, you can always just come back here. :)

d

Direct download: Show590-BumpyPlums-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54pm EDT

Here's your "ACT Best Of" of the week. And yes, we're behind a week because of like that thing that happened that was bad. You know the thing. 😎 With that said, have a fantastic weekend and we'll be back from vacation on Monday! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_9-14_through_9-18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Direct download: Show589-TakeEmFingering-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

We are very lucky boys. 

Well - that's only if you actually believe in luck, but with that said, the World Famous Piff the Magic Dragon Skyped in today. And seriously, we don't know why? I mean, you've heard our show. Right? We agree. With all of that said, Piff emailed Tom and said that he misses (a little bit) being on the road and having the ability to drop by his favorite podcasts and get coughed on and have his hand shaken. Well, we can't do that, so you're going to have to settle for this virtual interview with the only magic dragon in existence. Seriously, THANK YOU Piff for always being so kind and sweet to us. Lord knows, with the couple of weeks that I and the gang have had, this was a fantastically needed and enjoyed surprise. 

With all of that, we are now officially on vacation. I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I mean, I know that I need it but I'm still sad and have my freak out moments. I guess I'll just do my best and go from there. We all know that Tom and Sam will come back with all of the stories. I'll try to gather a few too. Apparently, Butler is working? Who knows! lol

On this week's show:

Skype with Piff the Magic Dragon

* OnlyDragons.com

* Donations making Tom mad

* Fruck You!

* Ross' POS news

* Biggie crown sold for $600K

* Chinese racial slur used by a professor

* Sonic diarrhea

* Running out of monkeys for COVID testing

* Tommy affecting Maisie's behavior 

* Masks in commercials

* Miscarriage and anxiety in the morning

* B.B. Dings

* Tom's professional driver

* Companion urns

...

Dig it. Off to be with my family. (What's left of it. I'm sorry. I don't really have control over the things that I type. I should not have come here.)

d

Direct download: Show588-OnlyDragonsDotCom-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:36pm EDT

Dearest T&D Family,

I just got home from handling a few more piles of bullsh*t that comes with the death of a family member - in a town that I don't want to be in - talking to people that I don't want to talk to. And, let me be clear, they're all wonderful people. I'm just not in the mood to be handling all of this. Not that anyone would be, but I'm just trying my best to execute Mamma's wishes, be kind to those that cared for her, and also not collapse in the process and I've got to tell you, this sh*t is hard. I'm not sure how Mom did all of this when Dad died and didn't freak the f*ck out. It's terrible. Simply terrible. I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to get back to all of you and reply to all of your kind and thoughtful comments, well wishes, and prayers. It means the world to me - every comment is helpful in propping me up, and getting me back to the way that I need to be. You guys are amazing and I love you all so much. You're one of the only reasons that I'm even ok. You guys, my amazing and fantastic wife, and my kind, loving, and hilarious daughter who seems to know that lately, I need a good laugh. My head hurts, so I'm going to wrap it up but not without saying to all of you how much you all meant to Mom. Mom really enjoyed being on the show. She did. Her friends would mention it and they always got such good laughs out of it. To those that met Mom on a T&D Cruise, you know how much she enjoyed being just a little part of this community that we have all created. You guys are so amazing! Thank you for helping to prop me up. This is what we do and please know that I will be there for all of you, just as you have been there for me.

I love you guys.

Have a cold one for Mama.

❤️ d ...

On this week's show:

* RIP #GrammyWithAMaggie * Tom's bedtime stories

* Broom racin'

* Seth reads Harry Potter on the show

* Pancake House

* Seth's IHOP melee

* Christmas experience at Gaylord Palms

* Birdseed bell

* Trulieve Santa

* Backwards tattoo

* Dan featured on the Sean Paul Peloton ride

* Racoons let the bees in

* Family Matter- "Lovely Hat!"

* Mattress Sizes

...

Direct download: Show587-GrammyWithAMaggie-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:27pm EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_8-24_through_8-28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

I'll fill this in when I get back. Sorry, guys. 

Direct download: LaborDayBestOfSpecial-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:36pm EDT

Nothing but the best. Like seriously. No seriously. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_8-17_through_8-20.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey there, kids! Welcome to a brand new "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan" and thanks so much for taking the time to consume a little part of us! No seriously. It really means a lot! We know that the world is swirling with tons of strange and sad BS out there, and it makes us happy to hopefully make you forget a little bit about all of that which shall not be mentioned. 

On this week's show:

* Chungus origin

* Humungus chungus

* Grift truck- anxiety machine

* Raccoon in a box kid

* Ross' news

* Putting out fires with Bud Light

* Polar bear vs hippo

* Toni Rodriguez apparel line: Stay Young SB 

* Tom almost got Toni fired

* BDM got his hat stolen from a neighbor

* Altoid panties

...

With that note, and I know that we haven't mentioned it at all, but thanks to all of you who voted us the best podcast in Orlando during the Orlando Weekly "Best Of Orlando" awards. This is like the 6th or 7th year that we've taken home the award for "Best Podcast" and it's always an honor and cool to be mentioned. During the years that we've been included in these awards, we have taken home almost every prize - from "Best Kept Secret" to the time that I won "Best Local Big Shot" in 2015. The bottom line is that we have done it all. (We've even beat out folks who claimed that they had COVID 19 in order to win! Whereas I can never imagine needing to win something so bad that I'd lean on being sick with a serious disease - but imagine the disappointment when you realize that you still didn't win, and people didn't care! 😬  Em-f*cking-barrassing.) And although we really didn't mention it at all, I think that in the future, we'd like to see some fresh podcasts take the crown as I do finally believe we have in fact - been there...and done all of that. But thank you again for all of the love and votes. It is never taken for granted and is always appreciated. 

Be sure to check out Toni Rage's new skateboard apparel brand. https://stayyoungsb.com/ is the web address and be sure to check it out. It's super green but the design is rad and he's going to be releasing a lot of stuff that shares the undying passion that T has had for skating and the fun that goes along with it. He was having a little bit of trouble with his site during the show, but I'm sure that it's fixed by now. Head over there and buy up all of those shirts for "Brown Trump" and all of the joy that he's brought to us - being a friend of the show. 

With that said, I'm out. I'm actually thinking about going out tonight. (To eat. Not dancing. This is the first time that I've thought about dance clubs. What the hell are those cats doing during all of this BS?) Heading to the small of tacos and well see you back here on Monday! All love! - d

Direct download: Show586-Chungus-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:07pm EDT

We da BEST! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_8-10_through_8-14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

What a strange day. 

I just got back from picking up Maisie from her first day of Kindergarten. It's insane to think that much time has passed. Most of the time I still think that I have a baby but she's becoming a full human and it's blowing my mind. Enough of that. On this week's show:

*Seth's rocking a stache

* Dan got a reverse frog

* Seth buried his cowboy boots

* Relaxed fit condom

* Nip dots

* Seth's news

* Neflix film: Cuties

* Auto brew syndrome

* White vultures

* Sabbath mode

I'd write more but I selfishly want to get back home to see how Mai's day was. Sorry. You'll get the gist if you just put the show in your ears. It's funny. And Seth is insane. 

All the best and thanks for taking the time to support us. We. Have. The. Best. Listeners. In. The. World. 

d

Direct download: Show585-RelaxedFitCondom-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:15pm EDT

Happy Saturday, guys! Dan here! As I close down the studio for the day, please know how much it means to me and Tom that you take the time to listen to the BS that we barf out. You guys are the best. Here's your Best Of. :) - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_8-3_through_8-7.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:58pm EDT

Hey there, kids! Are we ok? You ok? Is this thing on?

I know that sh*t is hard right now, but you have my promise that we work tirelessly to make you laugh. And that's it. Nothing more. We know our lane. 😎 Thanks for hanging with us this Friday afternoon and let's get into it, shall we?

On this week's show:

* It's hard to live

* Tom's boat storage debacle

* Orlando Sentinel was sent to collections

* This is your fault, Bob! 

* Ross' POS news

* NASA banning terms

* World's most expensive corona mask 

* Simon Cowell broke his back 

* Grampire

* FUKU

We're trying these days to do a hard 2 hours and then get the F out because we know that we have a tendency to ramble and then the show is like 4 hours long and drunk and a mess. We're sure that you understand. And if you've got feedback, hit us up - show@tomanddan.com and on that note, I'm going to go listen to Spotify and get all of this damned talk radio/podcast BS out of my head. Hahahaha...

We love you guys and we'll see you on Monday. Have a safe and wonderful week. Try to make the best of it. 💖

d

Direct download: Show584-ThisIsYourFaultBob-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:57pm EDT

Enjoy and have a fun and safe weekend! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_7-27_through_7-31.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Happy Friday to you all.

We’re just hanging in the Streamline studio, putting the final touches on the end of our day, and we’re glad that you’re joining us for another episode!

Don’t forget that there’s a bunch of brand new merch on TomandDan.com and we should be adding a bit more in the next few weeks and as things come in. (I hear tell that we’re working on some actual political styled signs for your yard. That will really confuse the neighbors. lol) Don’t forget to like and subscribe the YouTube channel and thanks as always for all of the support.

On this week’s show:

* Shart week promotion

* Seth like to prairie dog

* Fecalphilia

* Seth's king dining room 

* Swimming in canals

* Weed is bad for your heart?

* Best man speeches

* Young doodoo dojo

* Tom wants to revamp Scare Tactics again

* Andrea's Boston pirate character: Worst Beard

* Short dick man 

* Mets catcher walks out to "Beat It'"

Thanks for watching, listening, chatting, and sharing folks and we’ll see you all back here on Monday!

d

Direct download: AMT-DooDooDoJo-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:57pm EDT

We had the opportunity to chat with Jacki and Debbie about some of the amazing classes that they'll be teaching virtually courtesy of "Fairvilla University" or the sexual education arm of the legendary Fairvilla Megastore. Hit up Fairvilla.com for more info and to find out class dates, times, and login information. - d

Direct download: FairvillaU-DirtyTalk-8420-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:45pm EDT

Nothing but the best for you guys. Sadly, I'm having to upload this show again this morning as it did not seem to post on Friday night. Apologies for that and to those of you who expect your files on time. I would too. All the best and thanks for listening! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_7-20_through_7-24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:30pm EDT

Hey there, kids!

Today was a f'n blast! I sort of needed it and maybe you did too. There are times when I need some of the funniest people that I know, to rally behind me and just make me laugh. Don't do anything OTHER than make me laugh. That's all that I need. That's what sort of happened today and let's get into it:

On this week's show:

* RIP Pissface- Pour one out for Pissface

* Tom got the Timmy at Lowe's 

* Ballsy Butler

* Tom Doordashed Cracker Barrel to the wrong address

* Skype with Ross

* Scrabble update

*Tom- "Stealing turds is dumb"

* 1920 or 2020?

* Russian Rambo

* Opium

* Dr. Faucci's first pitch 

* Bay of piglets

* Skype with Griftin Jess

* White Monster = Titusville Champagne

* Tom's glass forest 

* Marnie the butterfly

* Skim boards 

* Maximum sharpness

...

I've got more to say but I'm pissy so I'm just going to peace-out. I love you all - the best listeners in the f'n world and we will see you all back here on Monday. Bet on it! 

d

Direct download: Show582-Pour1Out4PizzFace-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:07pm EDT

Simply the best. Better than all the rest. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_7-13_through_7-17.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

* Seth Lumpazelli

* HypochondriApp

* Pun intooted

* Seth kicked in the bathroom door on his great-grandmother

* Dan and Andrea's fight over car battery 

* Spread out the crazy 

* Lady dies on France rollercoaster 

* Seth vs an actual gorilla

* Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr 

Direct download: Show581-GrammySBat-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:11pm EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_7-6_through_7-10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:20am EDT

Hey there, gang!

Welcome to the 580th show of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." I've got to be honest with you and tell you that as these shows get u[ in numbers, I wonder how long we're going to be able to do this. Truly. 580? Are you F&*^ing kidding me? I would have never bet on us completing this amount of show - or even one that I felt was worthy of release. Seriously. 580? No F'n way! 

On this week's show:

* Eric Pabon calls in 

* Tom's wallet was found

* DickDecks

* Skype with Ross McCoy

* Chris Rock tattoos

* Banksy paintings on London subway 

* Monique vs Netflix

* Slurs in scrabble

* Tom will die on Honky Hill

* Dan is a dance dad

* Butler's high school hat business

* Peg leg jeans

* Pizza burgers

* Toilet breaking

* Breaking things due to rage

...

With all of this said, have you checked out our YouTube channel? One of the things that I'm the proudest of, is the fact that it does not look like a hunk of sh*t. Take a peek - and thanks for supporting and participating with our lil' show. 

All love,

d

Direct download: Show580-DickDecks-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:10pm EDT

Direct download: AGGTM-71520-ASEXUALWILLYWONKA-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:59am EDT

Only the best. Delivered by only the best. Or possibly the worst. Well, not the worst but certainly not the best of the best. Just like "normal" best - not "best" best. That would be insane. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_6-29_through_7-3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:32am EDT

On this week's show:

* Treatment for the orb 

* Tom's kitchen renovation

* Tom blew out Suntan Sally's begonias

* Craiglist E.T.'s 

* The Full Pink Panther

* Temple of Doom water shut-off

* Old man gets electrocuted by dishwasher

* Tom's car got broken into again and they got his wallet

* Dick cards in wallet

* The new "I'll sue you" is "I'll see you  on social media!"

* Bad reviews

* Seth's news

* Seth used to poo in his hand and smear it on walls

* Finding gross stuff in your food 

* Butler's dryer repair 

* Breaking glass with your voice

Direct download: Show579-BlowItInThereGood-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:39pm EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_6-23_through_6-26.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:52am EDT

Tomorrow. - d

Direct download: Show578-IAteButtWithThisDude-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT

The best of the best of the best...for the best of the best of the best. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_6-15_through_6-19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey there, gang! And thanks for taking the time to press play on the show. Look - we know that there are tons of choices out there that you could make and do make when you're looking for something to throw in your brain. We appreciate each and every one of you for choosing us and taking a listen. Truly. You guys - the listeners - you are the only reason that we do this. We could just go back to shitty ol' radio...but then we wouldn't get to see all of you! Hahaha... I digress. Plus I'm f'n exhausted from Tuddle being on the show today. Trust me...you're in for a treat. 

On this week's show:

* 7-11 Rewards card

* Tom's overflooded gutter problem AGAIN

* Elevator button in the cold rain

* Lightning- Blow your button off

* Tom is the Lebron James of minding your business

* Butler is a Karen to a man at the airport

* Tom's sons saw the Bug-a-salt

* Skype with Tuddle

* Posedown!

* Pariah Mike's "Business Rainman"

* Tom helps Tuddle with business advice

* Oxy Potter and JK Rehab

* Tuddle's dad check-in 

* Hiding your coughing

* Wheel scooters

* Ja Rule's Greek deli 

* Celebrity show off

* Thriller video

...

Have a more than wonderful weekend guys! I know that sh*t is terrible right now for most of us. I mean...the part that truly hurts me the most is that I haven't been able to hug my Mama more than one time in 4 months. (she's older and I certainly don't want to get her sick.) I know that many - if not all of you are in exactly the same boat. Since we're all here - I'm just glad that we get the opportunity to laugh a little bit and power through all of this BS. That's all it is. We don't control it. We can only ride it. 

Here's to having a great weekend - being safe - and throwing love to all of those that we care about in our lives. 

All the best, guys! 

d

Direct download: Show577-OXYPOTTERJKREHAB-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:21pm EDT

Have a great Saturday, folks, and please enjoy this ACT Best Of hand-selected by our amazing producer, Samantha! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_6-8_through_6-12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Thanks, as always for tuning into the show. We are so, so glad that you joined us and hope that you had as much fun listening as we did flapping our gums. 

On this week's show:

* No Skip Vann song

* Skip gate

* Every dad's gotta die

* Tom's car got broken into 

* Cat man is a hero- Cat army

* Fight of the Navigator 

* Seth's douchebro news

* CleminLemon

* Dust storm halting hurricanes 

* Critic donkey

* History of frozen pizza

* More alien colonizations

* Chuck E. Cheese is shutting down 

* Butler almost shot his eye out with a Bug-a-salt

* History of graham crackers

* Opium enemas

* Shoot Seth's nards with Bug-a-salt

* Could you build me a daddy song

...

So there you have it! Check out the video on YouTube - just search "TomandDanLive" - we think that you'll dig it! And you can always watch LIVE on Twitch. www.Twitch.tv/TomandDanLive. We'll see you next week! Thanks for the support! - d

Direct download: Show576-EveryDadsGotToDie-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:25pm EDT

Only the best. Nothing but. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_6-1_through_6-5.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey, there gang!

Apologies for the notes being a few days late but it was important for me to enjoy a fine Taco Bell dinner with my family and undisturbed. Yep. That's really what we did. Now, on to the notes:

On this week's show:

Dan's bday- 44 OLD!

* Mastering masturbating

* Evolved Fights

* Stanima Jones

* Papus pillow

* Guess Who and board games

* Fatso Buttcut

* Snooping on phones

* Sharing misinformation

* Couple "rehomes" autistic child

* Seth's turtles die

* The Villages documentary 

* Shop LC

* Bargain Alert!!

* Bloodwork

* Dan watches Star Wars

* Butler's candy shame

...

Have a great week, guys! We love you and thanks for pressing play, ya'll. - d

Direct download: Show575-FatsoButtcut-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:56pm EDT

Only the best. - d

Direct download: ACTBestOf-525-529-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:47am EDT

Hey there, gang! 

Did you know that you can watch the show? We broadcast LIVE on Twitch, and all flagship shows are edited and then re-released on YouTube for those that love the video component of the show.

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

...

Before we get to the notes, here's how to find us! 

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

...I have no idea why there weren't any notes for today's show. It might have a little something to do with me drinking White Claw 70's and then switching to regular ol' WC. I digress. 

On this week's show:

* Erik is Optimerch Prime

* Down dentist
* Tom's Eastern block dentist
* Professional butthole mouth 
* Maisie's #RealTalk with Dan 
* We call Seth and Felicia to talk about Nunes fight
* Divorced dad pads
* Toad'n
* Leaving it in until flaccid
* Blowing up grills 
* Fish death 
* #TowelRackFoLife
* Splitting your pants 
...
Ok. Apologies again for the late notes. Stay safe out there, folks and throw some love this weekend. We'll see you on Monday!
 
d
Direct download: Show574-FroginVSToadn-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:16pm EDT

Direct download: AGGTM-6320-1000DOLLARDUCKJOB-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:30am EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_5-18_through_5-22.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:18am EDT

Hey there, gang!

We hope that these show notes find you well. We just packed up for the day, and we’re all about to take off. We do hope that you all have a fantastic weekend - we’re going to try our best to do the same. With that said, and I know that I sound like a broken record as I type this, but we would really like for you to like and subscribe to our YouTube page. You can find it by heading over to YouTube and simply searching “TomandDanLive.” We’ll pop right up and trust me when I tell you, that I think we have one of the best YouTube channels out there. We have full shows. We have audio-only shows. We have original cartoons done by the mega-talented Swervey Jones. We have a ton of behind the scenes and event videos, as well. So, let’s get to today!

On this week’s show:

...

* Seth is here- Felicia fight

* Listener calls in- Tested negative for COVID-19, but positive for skin cancer and leprosy

* Nose in your mailbox

* Mole or blood

* Sgt. Pepper Lips designs

* OG show circle continues

* Setholamule

* Bufo toads

* Double toad'n it

* Chimney iguanas

* Disney opening back up 

* Olsen twins

* $800 blue sweater

* Butler's gleeking

* Brown bear stalks boy in Italy

* Moose antennas

* Seth vs a Moose

...

Have a great one guys and if you have something that you would like for us to chat about or a topic that you think might be good for the show, fire us an email; show@tomanddan.com is the address, and on that note, we’ll see you Monday!

All the best and all love,

d

Direct download: Show573-ChimneyIguanas-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:07pm EDT

Only but the best. The Champagne of Podcasts. - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_5-11_through_5-15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hi. Limited time. Here's the menu:

* Seth- first guest back

* Froggin Friday

* Seth's rash

* Mike Tyson/Holyfield fight again

* Seth vs Tyson

* Only people cry 

* Jean-Claude Van Blamme

* Alabama Blammer

* Drinking during the quarantine

* Butler's Fairvilla unboxing

* How long do you stay inside after finishing

* Seth's douchebro news

* Muppets Now

* Nassau scientists- alternate timeline

* Benjamin Button's baby bj's

* Jim Hanson

* Dog's anal glands

* Emails

* Vibration nation 

* Kids and cuss words

...

Thanks, kids. Today was much needed. 

d

Direct download: Show572-JeanClaudeVanBlammer-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:53pm EDT

Oh yeah...it's the best! - d

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_5-4_through_5-8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey there, gang! 

Did you know that you can watch the show? We broadcast LIVE on Twitch, and all flagship shows are edited and then re-released on YouTube for those that love the video component of the show.

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

...

Before we get to the notes, here's how to find us! 

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

...

* Maisie wants makeup for her bday

* Hands up, feet up, don't shoot questions

* God is a monkey 

* Tom explains evolution to his kids

* Mail on male

* Dreams

* Sleep and peak 

* Watermelon A Cautionary Tale

* Commando sex scene

* Finish in the skimmer

* Tom's new smoothie boy

* Grocery car theft

* Rockabye blowjob

* Pantyhose

* Hot tub audio 

...

Have a wonderful weekend, folks and if YOU have anything that you think we need to chat about, hit up TomandDan.com or email Show@TomandDan.com and we'll do our best to kick it around. 

All love,

d

Direct download: Show571-RockabyeBJ-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:27pm EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_4-27_through_5-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:50am EDT

Hey there, gang! 

Did you know that you can watch the show? We broadcast LIVE on Twitch, and all flagship shows are edited and then re-released on YouTube for those that love the video component of the show.

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

...

Before we get to the notes, here's how to find us! 

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

...

* Tom's new AC system 

* Tommy's time anxiety and car drop off

* Tom's bribing Max's teacher with White Claw merch

* Money muffins

* Giant White Claw gift basket 

* Skype call with Brian from SV Delos

* Racoon Cay

* Raising a baby on a boat

* Who's Dumpin?

* Dump it out

* Bass is back 

* Dan turned down a bj because he had just peed

* Bubble heart attack 

* Butler raw dogging

* Caesar dragging his wet dick across Dan's toes

* Dan Dennis questions

...

So tired. What a great Friday. I hope that you guys had as much fun as we did and on that note...we'll see you Monday for BDM shows and ACT. All love!

d

Direct download: Show570-GiftBasketSVDelos-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:33pm EDT

Direct download: AGGTM-OneBirdForLife-ChopCom-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:25am EDT

Direct download: ACT_Best_Of_4-20_through_4-24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am EDT

Hey there, gang! 

Did you know that you can watch the show? We broadcast LIVE on Twitch, and all flagship shows are edited and then re-released on YouTube for those that love the video component of the show.

You can find us on Twitch HERE: www.twitch.tv/tomanddanlive

You can find us on YouTube HERE: https://www.youtube.com/user/AMediocreTime

...

Before we get to the notes, here's how to find us! 

Other podcasts aggregates or scrapers:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan/id308614478

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-podcast/a-mediocre-time-with-tom-and-dan-show

TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-with-Tom-and-Dan-Podcast-p393884/

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1248-a-mediocre-time-with-tom-30696640/

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0IMs3hgNDuD6qI8ldHMWvH

...

Wow...I needed that.

I needed a good laugh. 

I can always count on you - the BDM family - all of the listeners - and of course Tom, Sam, and Butler to make me get a good cry laugh going. Totally needed it and chances are, you do too. Let's get to it. Have a great weekend, folks! 

...

On this week's show:

* Bullying during a business call

* Butler's "clip art"

* !FishCam in full effect

* Tom introduced his kids to "Bombs Over Baghdad"

* Nighttime conversations

* Moms over bad dads

* Maisie skateboarding

* Emails and voicemails

* Who's Porkin theme song

* Dreams

* Bloodpocalypse

* Poop banana

* Rubbing one out at work 

* Butler's BJ in a Spaghetti Warehouse parking lot

*Collard greens

* "Need to watch sick"- Max

* Tommy's cube train homework

* Chompy

* Did too much with a lot

* Park and Rec reunion

* Meat Run

* Pee on my tongue

...

Ok. I've been spending way too much time here lately...sort of pissing off the wife. I apologize to everyone for that...I'm just trying to make us better. It's like one of the only things that I can control. I'm sure you guys get it...and we all hope that you know how much we appreciate all of you. Truly. ❤️

See you Monday! 

d

Direct download: Show569-MomsOverBadDads-FIN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:23pm EDT