A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
The most mediocre time you'll ever have.

Hey there kids…

Thanks to all of you for tuning into the show and for taking the time to download the podcast! It really does mean more to use than you know. Today was the first show Tom has done since becoming a FREE man and we had a sh*t ton of fun doing it. On today's show:

Tom & Dan Straight Talk with Chuck Gallagher

B-holes VS Vagines

Catching up with Tim, Tom's brother

The Jewish Sailboat Real Man

THE Gummies

Miley does the Al Bundy

Betty Bolts

Girls vs Push-ups

Listener's Worst Christmas Gifts

Thanks to all of you for tuning into the "Friday FREE Show." We know that most of you already know this but if you'd like 2 extra shows per week, please check out the BDM Shows that we offer at TomandDan.com. You're going to get one brand new show plus one "golden classic" show that we did a few years ago and had to take down because of…well…we won't get into that. At least not for now. :)

Have a great week! BDM's, we'll see you Monday and "Free-showers" we'll see you in a week!



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Hey kids and thanks again for tuning into another "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan" Friday FREE Show. Today was pretty f'n great these's been so much going on lately, I'm almost surprised that we've even been able to put a frigg'n show together! Oh, and you'll be happy to know that we have a brand new "Tom & Dan Straight Talk" for you, as well as a few guests up our sleeves.

On today's show:

Bad @ Business

Slender Man

Wife Bullying

Parody Songs

"The Frog"

Tom's Redneck Tip of the Week

Joseph and Jessie

Lennon Tribute Concert

Release the Demons

Thanks to all of you for listening and we really hope that you dug this weeks show! There's lots going on in the Tom & Dan camp and we're really looking to sharing everything new with you guys in the weeks to come. We'll see you guys next week!


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What else do you really need to know other than the fact that we basically had creator and continuing "punk rock royal court" member, Jerry Only of the Misfits completely highjack our show? Pretty cool, huh? We also debut a brand new feature on the show called "Tom & Dan Straight Talk" where you get to see a little bit more serious side of both of us. (Or do you?) We think you're really, really, really going to enjoy it. Special thanks again to Mr. Jerry Only, Ross, and Samantha for doing such a great job with the show today and Tom and I will see you guys next week!

Have a great weekend!


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Welcome to show number 2 hundred and 40 of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan!" There's no need today for a big list of what we talked about today. Basically the concept of today's show was that we were going to call all of our friends and relatives and see what they were doing the day before Thanksgiving. 

We'll see how well that works out.

Thanks for listening and supporting the show. Please be safe and we'll see you guys next week!


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Thanks to everyone for tuning in today. It's the eve of our biggest event of the year and I really don't feel like typing more than just what we talked about today. Why? Well…let's see…Tom and I have been working our butts off all week to make sure that we all have a fantastic event. I've also got a brand new Xbox One up on the 17th floor with my name on it and I really want to check that out and see what it's all about. Sorry…just tired and need to have a little relaxation time before tomorrow. On that note…

On today's show:

Waffle House

Huffing and Puffington Post

Lucky Duck or Five Bucks?

"Clash of Clans" is ruining my life!

"Go to" drinking food

Orlando City Soccer News

Dick Professor

Food Coloring Changes Your Poop

Call to Zach (My Sister)

Tom's Trash Problem

DRugg is here!

Fatherly advice from DRugg

How to pack your gun

Strip Clubs

Thanks as always for listening and we hope to see all of you out at Johnny's Other Side tomorrow night!


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It's been a really, really, really long time of trying to get him him…but this week…we finally were able to get the legendary Jeff Howell on the show! 

That's not true. 

We didn't ask him and I can't really remember why we didn't other than it was just a massive over site on our part and for that we are sorry. Jeff's name has popped up quite a few times as a guest and for whatever reason it just didn't happen. I'm not really sure why because today…Jeff hit it out of the park! He's funny as all hell and his stories are always amazing. Truly. Major thanks to Jeff Howell for taking time out of his "not so busy" schedule to come in and do the show. We'll have you back in another 4 years.

On today's show:

Jeff is here!

Growing up with Blackie

Boxing for the white kids

The origins of "Clutch"

Steve from "Lake" Forrest calls in

Dog Tricks

Threesome Talk

Johnny from Johnny's Fillin' Station

DJ Squirrel

Naughty Lemon Splash

Gilloutine's Island

Thanks to all of you for listening to the show and we'll see you guys all at Johnny's Other Side for "Snootsgiving: Real Man Fest 2013! This is going to be our greatest event yet!


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Thanks so much for downloading today's podcast! You guys are the best! This was one of the absolute most fun shows that we've done on a Friday in a really long time! Most of the time we take very little time to plan out everything that's going to go on during the show BUT with that said, today's show was a complete exception! No, no, no, no really! We actually planned out today's show with tons of guests, new music (from D-Rugg), and all kinds of other amazing goodness.

On today's show:

Sofa and Suds - this Sunday - Sanford

Tom gets bullied

Richie Incognito = Dick Indisguise

Jacking: The Debate

Dan Host's SNL

No more asteroid talk!

Wife jerky

Tom & Dan Apocalypse

An ant update

"Java the Hut" Coffee House

Talking with Bruce about the NFL

Tom, an old man, and a Cobra Mustang

Tom & Dan get interviewed

Cannonball Run Champion - Ed Bolian

Thanks to all of you for downloading, listening, and rating us 5-stars on iTunes. Without you guys, we are nothing. Well, that's not entirely true but there would be no way that we would be able to afford to do this podcast and produce it for all 17 of you. You guys are amazing with your support and whatnot. Truly. We'll see you at Sofa and Suds on Sunday!


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There's really not much to say about today's show other than the fact that it was an "All-Star" show. Not only did Tuddle stop by to hang with us but resident VO wizard and creative genius Dan Stone stopped by today to hang out for our Friday Free Show.

Here's a picture of Tom, Dan and me…with all of the plaques that we received from the Orlando Weekly for our multitude of awards. 


We're f*cking awesome.


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Thanks so much for downloading and checking in with the show. Once again, we've been trying to keep all of our shows right at the 1 hour 30-45 minute mark but we missed the mark. So…you get another super sized "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." I think today we went about 2 hours and some change but we had guests, cool things for you to do, emails, and news crazy!

On roady's show:

Daniel's Prostatitis

College Advice


The Tom & Dan hand signal

Wash your B.H.

How to break up with a fat chick

"Sofa and Suds"


Rupe Calls In

Tom vs. Seth

Concrete rap

#1 jail podcast


Don't forget to check out TomandDan.com and the event section to see where we're going to be and what cool things we've got for YOU to do. You'll love it! We've got football on Sunday, Sofa and Suds, and then the BEST EVENT IN THE UNIVERSE; Snootsgiving!

Thanks kids…we'll see you next week!


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Hey there gang!

Thanks so much for all of you that turned into the show LIVE today and thank you, as always, to those of you that take the time to subscribe, download, and partake in the show. Today we would like to welcome a brand new client to the "A Mediocre Time" family in the form of Jeremiah's Italian Ice! These guys are great and we're more than happy to have them on the #AMT team! Make sure and check out their ad on TomandDan.com, click it, and then sign up for their "J-List." This will give you option to find out the new products that they have coming out, where they're going to be maybe even giving out free product, and even coupons that you can use if you like to go there and eat their deliciousness! If you like the show, then go sign up and please…tell them that we sent you! We couldn't be more proud to be working with these guys!

On today's show:


Call Ross…something is wrong!

Tom goes to the Dr.

"Squid Kid"

Scared Straight

Spring Break Disease


Scott's Scared Straight Circle

Kristen Fowler (Tuddle's Wife) 7 the Walking Dead

Tom & Dan throw Samantha's Bachelorette Party 

Thanks again for listening and we'll see you in a week!


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Welcome to another Friday FREE show and thanks to all of you for joining us! Today was a big day because we finally released the song that we've been waiting so much time on to the world; "Hark! Sons of the Grand King (The Legend of Dragon Titties) Part. 1" and you can get it free at TomandDan.com or by subscribing to our podcast on iTunes. And there are shirts to go along with it so if you want a limited edition "T&D Tour Shirt" grab one now from the merchandise section of TomandDan.com.

On today's show:

Tom & Dan's new song

Smash it or Trash it!

Nazi-section aka The Slitler

Tom's Nanny Pyramid Scheme

Ross' Improv gig

Matt Woods calls in

Real Man tasks

Crazy neighbors



Thanks to every one for downloading and taking the time to subscribe and leave reviews. When you do that, you really, really, really help out the show! The more reviews and love that we get online, the more love we get on iTunes which really and truly helps to expose people to the show. Thanks so much! You guys are the best!

We'll see you guys next week…


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Tom's having a baby and we go through a little "baby talk" for the first full segment of the show. But before you check out and think "This is the way that it's going to be for the rest of mediocre history!" - allow me to assure you that it's all part of the natural process of Tom's baby and of all of us being a part of the process. Just think…we can all make fun of this together! IT'S GOING TO BE FANTASTIC! And more than likely about that time…my wife will be begging me to attempt to have a baby as well…and you can all make fun of me for making fun of Tom. It's really just a vicious cycle of filth and pain that will continue to roll and fester until the end of time. The end.

On today's show:

Baby Talk.

Home Birth.

Looking into the eye of the devil.

Tom's a small p*ckerd man with a high deductible.


Eye-seeing test

Killer Chinese Hornets


Awkward Fighting

Worst Neighbors

Once again…real talk. 

So please enjoy this extra-long, "we forgot how long that we were recording" show and please know how much you guys mean to us as listeners. You guys have stuck with us for an extended period of time and if it weren't for you guys…the Tom & Dan studio would not be on the air. Truly. You guys are the force behind the show and for that we are eternally grateful.


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We will deem this the most negative show that we've ever done. It could be the fact that Tom wasn't feeling 100%. It could be the fact that I got up early for this stupid iPhone event. Maybe it was the fact that Ross had to leave early for another one of his crazy part-time jobs. I can't say anything bad about Samantha…she did a fantastic job today. Haha.

On today's show:


Negative First Segment


Fall Festivals

Tom & Dan - ICP without Makeup

Jnco Dennis

Tom turns into "Black Mama"

Savi Fernandez

Big Black Mama's Don't Drive Trucks

Sticker vs. Decal

Beat That Movie Down

Thanks to everyone for downloading and we'll see everyone next week!


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On today's show:

We call and check in with Samuel/Tuddle/Patrick

Bo Jackson's Hunger Games

Moses Lawn - Dan'sDrag Queen Name

Sword your butt-ass off


A Call in from "Scumbag Chris" - Felonies don't sound that bad in a British accent.


Church Talk with Brandon

Corgan or Anderson


Carmen stops by!

Thanks to everyone who subscribes and take the time to help support this show. We grow, and grow, and grow all because of you guys and the fact that you support us and keep the studio running. It means so much to us! It really, really, really does. Understand this; we would not have a show if it were not for those of you that listen, support our sponsors, and subscribe as BDM's. Today was an awesome, awesome, awesome show…and it has everything to do with you guys and your support.

Thanks for the love and we'll see you next week.


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On today's show:

Tom eats in the heat at WaWa.

The Gay Handyman

Emails with Samantha

The comedian that is Alex U

Bob Saget is an alien.

Dave Coolio

Freddy Cougar - a dildo glove

Stripper's and Cobras

Depressing Endings

That's about it. I've got to head to dinner and grab a little bit of dinner and whatnot. Thanks to Alex for stopping by and always love to Samantha and the man known as Ross. You guys are fantastic and did a great job with today's show. Well done, kids!

Thanks for downloading and thanks for taking the time to support the show. It truly means more than you know!


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This week's show was amazing; amazing in the fact that we were actually able to pull it off! Tom and I are great friends but at the same time I think our relationship works so well because we're both so different. I'm a self proclaimed "emotional crazy person" and Tom is a robot, void of all emotion and only deals with logic. Oddly enough, it's a fantastic mix. Tom's a little stressed right now and normally I would be too, but lately I've made so many mistake in my day to day life that I've sort of given up at even giving a damn about me and my own mental issues. Why am I type this to you? Because I'm in charge of the show notes and the "robot, void of all emotion who only deals with logic" is not.

On today's show:

The green berets of fat.

Tom is "atrocities man."

Realistic baby dolls.

No nipples is SO better.

Ben Rodriguez & Josh Whitehead from "Funny or Die."

Ross' comedy troop - Fat Lightning

"Waxing the Bassoon."

Manchester United Scumbag

Steve Foxbury & Matthew Fowler

"Blending Last Names."

Changes in the music industry.

Matthew Fowler plays live.

Thanks for listening guys…

We'll see you next week.


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There are some times when Tom drinks during the show…and it's AWESOME! Today we were waiting on our guest Rebecca to show up and Tom started dipping into the old "Coors Lights." We think that you guys will love this episode and really enjoy the fact that Tom is a little more loose than he normally is.

On today's show:

Ross goes to D-Rugg's birthday party.

Ross: Pine Hill Ninja

Our Friend Rebecca


Thanks to everyone for listening to the show and for taking the time to download. Do us a favor and head over to iTunes and rate us 5-star and leave us a little review. We'd love that and we'll see you guys next week.

All the best,


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On today's show:

Teeth Talk

Tom's EXTREME nipple hair.

Magician of fingering

"The Long Saw"

Peeping Tom

Tom & Dan have a lot of people cry in front of them.

Can you F a blow hole?

A talk with Timmy.

Emails with Samantha

...simple and to the point.


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Heading to my graduation dinner. I'll ad this later...



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Thanks to everyone that downloaded, participated and was a part of the show today. As always thanks to Ross, Samantha, Medijocre and all of our callers! You guys were crazy today and we love that! Fun stuff. And as always…thanks! If you have nothing to do on Sunday, me and Tom would love to have you come out to "Tom and Dan's To Hell with Sundays" at Caddy Shanks in Baldwin Park. We're going to have ping-pong, Sapo, and virtual golf! If you've never been there, trusts…you'll love it!

On today's show:

Tom thinks he's going to have a heart attack while j'n.

Ross' dental procedure.

Are you a twiddle-dee-down?


Jacking off in Publix.

Henry the J-off Cowboy.

Tom sex talks Kandi

What's eating "sour grapes."

I'll be your Biff.


Ross: Business Kurt Cobain

Mr. Planet

Thanks guys…and we'll talk to you soon.


Direct download: Show_222.mp3
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Welcome to show number 221 of "A Mediocre Time with Tom & Dan!" Thanks to everyone for participating in today's show, watching it live, and downloading from iTunes, and listening at TomandDan.com. So this week was pretty much the norm except we have another Tom & Dan's "To Hell with Sunday's" event that we're going to be having once again at Caddy Shanks Sports Bar in Baldwin Park. Not only are we going to have ping-pong, Sapo, and corn-hole but we're also doing a Ship Yard Brewery Tap Take-Over with a lot of their signature beers. So…there's that. Aside from us just telling you to go to our events and stuff like that, we had in comic Tommy O'Neil, our friend Brain stopped by, and we had a heck of a good time. 

We'll see you guys next week and thanks as always for all of the support. If you want to hear us talk to the Nigerian scammers, and you're not a BDM…we're sorry but you're going to be out of luck. Truly it is one of out most stupid yet informative shows that we've ever done. Head over to TomandDan.com and sign up. We don't think that you'll be disappointed. 

See ya in a week,


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First and for most, thanks so much to our good friend Seth Petruzelli for stopping by and talking to us about his career and the fact that he is now retiring. I can tell you 100% that it can be really, really, really hard when you have to stop something that you love but there are times when it's the correct thing to do. Today was one of his first interviews since losing his last big fight and since announcing his retirement. We love him and wish him nothing but the best. 

On today's show:

Sandwich for squirrels. 

Addicted to "scatting"

Triple Whopper Challenge



Faking your own death

Terrorist Vacuum Cleaner

 Seth and Dan in Jail

Petruzelli's pigs


Thanks as always for listening and for supporting the show. We love you guys and we can't keep the show going without you! Don't forget to rate us 5-stars on iTunes and leave us a little comment. We'd love to hear from you. Thanks again to Seth for stopping by and hanging out. 

See you next week,


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What can we say? Happy birthday America! And we chose to do absolutely nothing about it. In fact, I don't even think that we mentioned July 4th one time. Well, maybe. But not much. Just listen to the show and we're virtually certain that you'll dig it. We had a packed house, lots of fun, and truthfully, I'm far too tired to write a full explanation of what we did today. Hell…I don't even know what we did today. It was insane. 

Thanks to Nikki, Leeann and Zack for stopping by. Fun times guys…


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Dear podcast downloaders and listeners,

I'm not really sure what to say about today's show other than the fact that Tom and I have a tiny bit of jet lag and we're insanely crazy today. This show is a plethora of tangents and bull. We think you'll like it. And at any rate, we had fun…and that's really all that matters. 

On today's show:

100% stress, 100% of the time.

Tom & Dan in Chicago

Mystery Text

Car Rental Scam

Ross Vomits: Round 2

"Bologna Joe - Eat My Hotdog."

Fill-Up Buster = Gay Porn


Call from "Scumbag Chris"

Girl Surprise Gasp

Toilet Talk

Internet Porn

Puffin Palace

As always, thanks for listening and be sure to head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and a little comment. It truly does help us to reach new listeners and we'd really, really, really appreciate it. Don't forget that Ross is going to being stand-up tonight at the "High Octane Lounge" (I think that's what it's called…) and please come and see us Sunday at "To Hell with Sundays" at Caddy Shanks in Baldwin Park from 2-5pm this coming Sunday. It's going to be a really, really really fun and relaxed time and we hope to see all of you "scumbags" there.

All love to you guys for supporting us and keeping the studio going…


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Welcome to today's Friday Free Show of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." If you're wondering why we call it a FREE show...well...then you're not a BDM member and you might need to dig a little bit more ito www.TomandDan.com and subscribe! You'll like it. (Or maybe not but I really think that you will. We have a great time doing it.) 

On today's show:

Tony Rage stops by to talk about all things Latin.

Witch Doctors

Sheep Eating Plant

"If I had any skills..."

P*ssed on

Mediocre-Pedo Call

ACE calls us about flying.

"You want your sh*t back."

Thanks for downloading and for taking taking the time to do just that. You guys mean more to us than you really know and we're super happy that you help to keep the studio up and running. Without out the people that buy the merch, subscribe to the podcast, and those of you that subscibe to our BDM podcasts...we WOULD NOT BE ABLE to do this! Thanks for everything and we'll see you guys in a week. BDM's you're going to get an extra special "Tom and Dan go to Chicago" 'cast so if you want to hear that...you're going to want to subscribe.

See you next week.


Direct download: Show_217.mp3
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We had "Kid" stop by today to shoot the sh*t and hang with us. It's my birthday dinner so I'm not going to make this a really long recap but I'd like to personally thank Kid The Traveler for stopping by, Ross for the fantastic news that he delivered today, Sam for the beer and imput, Dwayne the BBQ Master for stopping by, Chad for hanging out, Payton for doing nothing, and Brain for sitting and drinking our beer. We always have a great time when he stops by and make sure that you hang until the very end of the show to hear a "sneek-peak" of some of his new stuff. 

On today's show:

Penny Farthing again.

Trapped Underwater.


Mediocre Whoremonger

D-Rugg Review

Black Wendy's Girl

Kid The Traveler

Mr. Massage

Kid Romney

Thanks for listening, folks. We'll see you next week.


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I'll update this later...

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On today's "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan"…well…it's not really "today's" with the fact that it's been pre-recorded. Dan is heading to Washington D.C. to crap his pants on a plane and Tom is on his way to the Bahamas to go on a scuba expedition. So this show was recorded on Wednesday of this week but we assure you that it's just as "Mediocre" as any other show that we've done. Ross gives us news, we talk to a couple that work in the circus, and then we chat with a guy who's a correctional officer. (We'd love to give you more notes about this show but Ross didn't give Dan any and had to leave early so…there's that.)

Thanks to Rachel and Aaron from the circus for calling in. Thanks to Ross for his news. Thanks to our friend Jenna for baking us cooking and dropping by the show to hang with us. Tom and I will see you when we get back from our trips. Pray for me. I hate planes.


Direct download: Show_212.mp3
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Today's show was the thing that dreams are made of. Two hot guys that talk for a living combined with some of the most amazing beers that you've ever had EVER. Combine that with amazing news from Ross and you have one of the best shows that we've ever had ever. (Or that just might be the beer talking.) Thanks to Lucas from Cigar City Brewing, Alissa and Jarred from Brown Distributing for stopping by and giving us the 411 on American Craft Beer week which starts this Monday. Make sure and get your mouth's ready for some good a$$ beers! 

On today's show:

Gay Chicken

Jack Lemon

Maine Rappers

All about Peru

Santa Muerte

Gator Attacks


"Dead Giveaway"

Gray Raft?


Craft Beer Week

"The Magic Box"

Florida Beer Tasting

"Your artwork screams "good beer."

Beer Sprite

Tony Rage Lifts Beers All Day

Beer Chat with Tom and Dan



Squid and Tiger Penis

Thanks to all of you that listen and have been listening for quite some time. Tom and I have a blast doing this but mainly we get off on the fact that so many people seen to like the show. If you DO like the show and you're looking for something that you can do to help us out, please subscribe on iTunes and rate us 5-stars. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that there are those of you that dispose iTunes with a passion but as of right now, they are the best way for new and homegrown podcasts to get their names out there on the internet for FREE. We pay nothing to be on there and if we're rated highly it means nothing but free promotion. So…that's why you always hear us asking for you guys to subscribe and to rate us highly on iTunes.

Thanks os much and we'll see you guys in a week!


Direct download: Show_211.mp3
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Show #210 - Funky Bunch and Emergency Whiskey

Thanks to all of the "scumbags" that tuned in LIVE for today's show. We had a great show and tons of fun hanging with Ross, Pedro Lima, Samantha, Floridaldo, and our special guest Attorney Joe Hunchuck. (If you need some legal advice, hit him up. Joseph Hunchuck P.A. He's a former sheriff deputy and seems to be a nice guy. Thanks to him for coming in and hanging out.) Today's show was frigg'n amazingly funny. We hope you have as much fun as we did today!

On today's show:

What am I thinking right now?


Reese Witherspoon-American Citizen

News Lasers from Ross

100 Angry Sherpas

Emergency Whiskey

Kill the Kids Before Anything Goes Wrong

Carmen Morales live from Iowa

Funky Bunchin'!

Thanks again to all of you that subscribe to the show on iTunes. I know a good deal of you are NOT fans of the iTunes and that's cool. Just know that if you do download and leave us a 5-star review that it really, really, really does help us out. We get on the front page of iTunes and that helps us get a bunch of new people listening to the show.

All love,


Direct download: Show_210.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:16pm EDT

There are very few times when we have a full docket but today was one of those days. First and foremost we had Kostya Kimlat, our magician friend, back into the show with another one of his magician buddies. This time it was Orlando Magic magician and entertainment and comedy producer Darren Rockwell! Not only was Darren a wonderful guest but Kostya left the studio with a trick that can only be experienced when you witness the Tom and Dan private bathroom. (Most of you WILL NOT experience the Tom and Dan private bathroom. Just a heads up.) Truthfully amazing and always a pleasure to have those guys in the studio. If you have the opportunity, please go and check them out and make sure that you let them know where you heard about them. They're extremely humble and cool people that just want people to enjoy magic.

After that we were lucky enough to have the agency that branded our show in to talk about design and how one gets into design. We're beyond lucky to be working with one of the most talented and fun design agencies in all of the world; The Danger Brain. Don't ask us how we got involved with them. It's a very long and boring story…a little of which will be in today's show and nothing that's truly important. Just know that Tom and I are grateful and it was beyond cool to have them come in and hack it out with us in the #Snootio. They do design work for a lot of the major YouTube stars and we're defiantly dragging down their resume. With that said, we couldn't be more boiled over to have them working with us and they're some of the finest people that we know.

We finish everything off by hearing a family stories from the brother of Tom's wife. (We'll leave it at that in case the kids are listening…seriously.) This is one of the greatest stories that we've ever told or had told on the cast.

Thanks for listening folks…


Direct download: Show_209.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:16pm EDT

Will be added later...

Direct download: Show_208.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:40pm EDT

Well…it's here. This is show #207 and this is the 4 year anniversary of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan" podcast. Never did we think in a million years that when we started this deal that we'd still be doing it and enjoying even more 4 years after the fact. We hope that's not disappointing to you guys but we really didn't know what the hell we were doing when we start or where e wanted to go. All we knew was that we really wanted to do something fresh and fun. Something that was free from the monotony that had grown to be quite sizable in our everyday lives. The best part is that you guy are here with us and this is something that we are not able to accomplish with out the love from you. You guys are the ones that download and listen to the show. You guys are the ones that buy the shirts and patiently wait for us to stuff envelopes and send them out at the cheapest rate possible. You guys are the ones that come to all of the events and hang with us. We don't sing and dance or do anything off the wall. We just try to provide you all with an honestly good time and some fair priced bullshiz. That's the way that we've always wanted it to be…SO…if you're not already coming to the event, please look over this Facebook invite. 

We'll see most of you tomorrow night at Hooch on Wall Street and we seriously can't wait!

Until next week…thanks for listening and for making this 4 years some of the best memories of our lives!

Direct download: Show_207.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:37pm EDT

Today we had the pleasure of fulfilling a lifelong podcast dream of interviewing a woman who is a phone sex operator. Now, that's not to say that we didn't have a blast with Ross' news (which we did) but we could hardly contain ourselves with the thought that we were going to get to speak to "Candy" who works for an unnamed phone sex company. Who knew? Who knew that phone sex was still not only popular but that their fiscal numbers were currently going through the roof because of the individuality of the experience! We have a ton of fun chatting with her about her job, what most people are into, and what are some of the more strange things that she's experienced as an operator. We do start the show off with fantastic news from Ross, a visit from our favorite intern Samantha, and a call from beloved Vegan "scumbags." It was a fantastic and super fun show! As always, thanks for downloading, listening, subscribing and rating us 5-stars on iTunes. We'll see you guys next week!


Direct download: Show_206.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:52pm EDT

Today was a fantastic and historical day for the podcast. For those of you that know me from Real Radio 104.1, one of the things that truly made me happy during my time there was our ability to bring you guys programs that were insanely odd and creative. "Sunday Morning Coming Down" was that program and today on the show we have singer, songwriter, founding member of the the Hindu Cowboys, Mr. Joseph Marten. Joseph is such a great guy and I haven't seen him for about a year or at least back when he was up at the station doing the Sunday morning gig. He's got a massive "SMCD" live gig that's going to be on April 7th from 10am-8pm. Both me and Tom are going to be out there with the wives and we're also apparently going to be hosting "Dunk Tank Karaoke!" This is going to be a great event and we can't wait to head out there and be a part of it. Don't forget that we've got ping-pong tonight (Friday, March 29th) at Caddy Shanks in Baldwin and we're going to have a great time just hanging out, playing games and drinking beer. We've got our 4 Year Anniversary on the 13th of April at Hooch on Wall Street and it's going to be fantastic. Free mason jars for the first 150 people, pictures with the "All-American" camel girl, Music by Terri Binion and Jessica Daumen. (You're going to know Jessy from our "Fiddlin' Titties" video. Crazy stuff…she's so talented.) We also talk to D.Rugg and get a few movie reviews and we talk about our friend Bill who apparently lost his mind this week. 

As always, thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us 5 stars and leave us a little review. We would really love that…

Thanks for listening and we'll see you guys in a week.


Direct download: Show_205_-_Joseph_Marten__the_Scooter_Shooter..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:36pm EDT

Let your mind drift off to a different place. Allow yourself to go to the next dimension. Welcome to life. Welcome to…Tom and Dan MAGIC!

Direct download: Show_204_-_MAGIC.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:11pm EDT

Today's show was people packed and ACTION packed. Tom and I love it when we're able to have our friends over and just bullshit. Today we had touring comic, Pedro Lima and our entertainment friends Mike and Summer from Universal Studios. We also talk to our friend Paul from the West End Trading Company about his "Pints and Paws" event that he's got coming up on March 23rd. It's a completely pet friendly event and we're going to be out there with our dogs having a few beers and giving out a few "Tom and Dan" goodies. 

On today's show:

No power steering

Dan Cummings (Where are you? Where's Gary?)

Dan's College Studies

Red Ant Glove

American Flag Bikini

Ping Pong at Caddy Shanks AGAIN. Are you going to be there?

Tom and Dan 4 Year Anniversary Party at Hooch

Why Podcast?

Painting the Wings of the Airplane

High in Moral Fiber

Ring Chat

The Attack opening for Bad Religion

Tom's Wife SURPRISES in Studio

Pedro Lima in Studio

Morning Bang


McDonalds in a German Elevator

Exercising with Dan's Mom

Zippididoodah Race War


Carmen Morales calling from West Virginia

(Breathing out…) So there's that! What a great show and thanks to everyone for coming and hanging out at the studio. We had a blast today and so much of that has to do with Crystal, Andrea, Mike, Summer and Ross; the people that stop by and hang with us! Thanks kids…

See you next week! Don't forget to rate us 5-Stars and leave us a little review.

All love,


Direct download: Show_204_-_A_Long_Show_with_No_Power_Steering..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:19pm EDT

Dearest "scumbags",

We're back and it seems like everything is working correctly. (Well, besides the fact that it seems that we have a F'ed USB cable that we use for the Ustream feed. Looks like I'm going to be hitting up the Best Buy after the show today.) We had a great show today and we're happy to report to you that we were not only all over the place but today's show is TWICE the size of last weeks disaster of a show. (From what I've heard from a lot of you, it really wasn't bad at all…and that you all really enjoyed me freaking the F out! Hahaha…) Well, thanks for sticking with us and please do us a favor and try to turn a new people onto the show. One of the major things that we believe in here at "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan" is that you deserve to get content! The days of everything being a giant lump of commercials and there being massive breaks of stuff that you could give two $hits about are over. We're here to help you with that. Make sure and spread the word of TomandDan.com to try and help us with that. Thanks…you kids are the best!

On today's show:

Justice from OutLoudOrlando.com

Bumper Sticker Comedy

"Pray the Gay Away"

"Blow Luke Like a Trumpet!"

FTD shirts and Spring Break

North Korea is still our baby.


Max Hardcore and why we hate him even more than ever.

Ross and his POV stand up video

Our 4 year party at Hooch

As always, thanks for taking the time to go to TomandDan.com and check out the show, or to subscribe to the show on iTunes. Both are important and helpful to us gaining more and more popularity. If you really want to help out the show, please head over to iTunes, take the time to subscribe to the show, leave a 5-star rating, and leave us a review of the show. It really does help us out and gets us listed in the categories of like "What's Hot" and "Top Podcasts." Thanks to all of you guys for a great Friday and we'll see you next week. To our BDM podcast members, we'll see you on Tuesday for 2 new shows!

Tom and Dan

Direct download: Show_202_-_Hippies_dont_hang_around_Pornos..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:40pm EDT

I'm too pissed to even talk about this.


Direct download: Show_201_-_EVERYTHING_IS_BROKEN._WORST_SHOW..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:32pm EDT

So these two dudes dropped by and they're playing tonight at Will's Pub on Mills. Go out there and support awesome, badass local music. We had a great show today and we were going to release this as a BDM show but it was so good that we thought we'd just release it to everyone. So…as Adam Lee would say, "You're welcome."

Matt Woods:

Here's the short story. Matt has been a figure in the East Tennessee music scene for the past ten years. Located in Knoxville, TN, he has performed in several bands as well as working as a solo artist. Matt has shared the stage with the likes of CAKE, Drivin' n' Cryin', Will Hoge, Kevn Kinney, Roger Clyne (of The Refreshments), Garrison Starr, Tim Lee, Mic Harrison (of the V-Roys and Superdrag), Doug Gillard (of Guided By Voices) , Two Cow Garage, Col. Bruce Hampton & the Code Talkers, Zac Brown, Graham Colton, Brian Vander Ark (of The Verve Pipe), The Features and a seemingly never-ending list of talented independent artists who aren't getting the widespread respect they deserve from points around the globe. Matt spent his earliest years with a band called Magpie Suite, which received a bit of notoriety around the southeast and produced three albums. Until recently, he worked devotedly with his latest band Plan A, where he wrote songs, sang, played guitars, played cards, drank beers, and often drove from show to show along the east coast in a big, brown van named Daisy. Plan A released and supported two full length albums between 2004 and 2009. Through solo performances and band appearances, Matt has averaged over 200 shows a year for the past few years, an average that would be higher if it weren't for a very unfortunate thumb-wrestling accident in the spring of '06. At home, Matt also performs in a duo called Adapted Wood with long time friend Tod Sheley every Monday night, and in several other projects featuring a number of talented musicians. He can also be found sitting in from time to time at random shows in the Knoxville area.

Adam Lee:

In the world of a working band there is no greater constant than the road. Few know this better than Adam Lee & the Dead Horse Sound Company, the Kansas City band who put their original spin on that classic country sound. With the release of their sophomore album, 'When the Spirits Move Me,' Lee and company touch on many of the elements so familiar to their life on the road. From wild nights in far away towns, to barroom brawls and goodbye kisses, the band expertly explain their travelling life. All with the swingin' shuffles and country flair of your favorite 45's. But then again, winding highways and endless mile markers are something they know well.

Upon completion of their first record, 'Ghostly Fires,' the band commenced a wide-spread and heavy touring schedule. Since the release of 'Ghostly Fires' the band has also spent a good deal of time refining their already unique sound. While their first album touches on the more subtle tones of Americana, 'When the Spirits Move Me' focuses on the band's affinity for classic country. Twelve tracks of heartbreaking honky tonk that sound right at home in the swingin beer joints and rural roadhouses the band often plays.

Leading the way is Adam Lee whose basement baritone perfectly presents the highs and lows of life on the road. Joining Lee are Johnny Kay (electric guitar, mandolin) and Boomerang Dave Bruchmann (upright bass), and when this train starts a-chuggin, folks had better hold on. Their live show is a rowdy and rollicking good time full of all original honky tonk music -- songs to drink to, cry to, and most of all dance to. So bring a date, grab a drink, and don't forget your dancin' shoes. Adam Lee & the Dead Horse Sound Company are headed down the highway, and there's no end in sight.

Direct download: BONUS_SHOW_-_MATT_WOODS__ADAM_LEE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:22pm EDT

Yep. That's it.

Direct download: Show_200_-_Pig_Feet_and_The_SuperVillains..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:58pm EDT

So it's Tom's birthday so we take the time to throw him one hell of a "birthday show." And by one hell of a birthday show we mean "just a regular show." Tonight we've got a little gathering at Caddy Shanks in Baldwin Park and we're going to play a little ping-pong and hang out with you guys to celebrate almost 200 shows and Tom's 31st birthday! Happy birthday buddy! We hope you have a good one!

On today show:

Tom's Birthday

Park Ranger Deadbeat Dad

Some Good Prov

Jury Duty Tom (Clowny)

Just Horsing Around

Horse Porn in not Animal Abuse

Thanks to everyone for listening and taking the time to rate us 5-stars and leave us a review on iTunes. Ross says that helps. We're not sure but we attempt to believe him as much as we can. He's good people and we really have no reason to not trust him. To those of you that already know about the gathering tonight, we'll see you there.

Thanks as always,


Direct download: Show_199.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:03pm EDT

Welcome to this week's #FreeFriday show of "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." (Why have we started calling this the #FreeFriday show? Well, we're never going to take the Friday show away from those of you that have been listening to it for years. If you've been living in a hole, you might not know that we also do a paid show on Tuesdays where we release an "OG" or old school show and then one brand new show that can only be head if you subscribe. It's pretty rad stuff. You might want to check it out!) Dan's back has been out so he's a little out of it. (This is Dan typing this and I'm pain-pill crazy right now.) We're back to a normal show with Tom, Dan, Ross and Samantha. We hope you enjoy it and as always, thanks so much for downloading and spreading the word.

On today's show:

Dan's Back

Snow Day!

Spanish Griz

Clowny Clerk is my lawyer

Pants in France

Tom invents the bike

Rup questions the business plan

Eiffel Tower Jump


Girl Emails!

"If I didn't jA$k off, my balls would blow up!"

T & D Sex Dream

#1 Uncircumcised Podcast

Boss pooping

Heartbreak Junkies show St. Patrick's Day

Thanks again for listening to the show! It really means a lot to us that you're out there supporting us. We have the greatest listeners in the world and are so lucky to have you scumbags helping us promote and get the word out about the show. We're trying to get this show bigger and better and we know that's going to start with you guys. If there are any friends that you have that you think might enjoy the show, please let them know about us!

We'll see you #BDM's on Tuesday and the rest of you (that are really and truly missing out…), we'll see you next Friday for another "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan."


Direct download: Show_198.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:25pm EDT

Thanks as always for listening to the show and for taking time to download the show and whatnot. We are SO happy to have all of you and create this nice little family. (Wow…that's way too positive for me. Seriously.) Thanks for Kendra and Carmen who came in today. They're awesome ladies and we're so glad that they came in. On today's show:

It's another "Dan's Mom Fart-o-gram."

Too much wine.

Ping pong - birthday party Feb 15th

Not designed for a 32' neck

Wine and Beans

This is maybe horribly insulting…

No my first name is Doctor, idiot.

He doesn't believe in pre-cum.

Dan Marino's love child

Taint Sneeze Pain

Smooth Penis

Porn Favorites

Boner Break

I'm'a Dan Marino your ass tonight… - Black God

Mr. MacGruber: Small Dick Pooro

Andy Treehorn on prostitutes

Andy>Dan Marino

Sponsored by Pop Rocks

Zimbabwe broke


S. Korean Jerks

Comedy war stories

Laser on the V?

Thanks again for listening. Please remember that Tom has dropped the prices on "Red" Tom and Dan hats to 15 bucks and all orders for the next week, you get a free door hanger. Yep. That's right. You've  got a one week of reprieve from Ol' Tom Vann - Money Man. Good stuff. We do orders on Tuesday and they're hand screwed up by Tom and Dan. Please be sure to rate us 5-stars and leave us a funny review on iTunes. 

We'll see you guys next week. 

All the best,


Direct download: Show_197.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:52pm EDT

We start the show off again with Dan's Mom being Fart-o-Gram'ed. Dan would like to take this time to apologize to his Mother. We're very, very sorry that we exploit you and your newly retired self for the benefit of our podcast. (But we do love you…) Thanks to this week's new #BDM's! There are a ton of new people that like to subscribe to our Tuesday show! Thanks folks! We have a great time and love having you guys around for our subscription based show! Remember, you get one "OG" or older show released on Tuesday and you always get one new show. www.TomandDan.com/register 

On today's show:

Sell your Fart-o-grams?

26 Fresh Clothing and our buddy Dan Thompson

Dan now works for Orlando City Soccer Club

Ben Bungee

Tom and Dan Shirt Issues

Selling out?

"Racist Porn of the Week."

There's more to this show but we think that Ross got drunk and then stopped writing things down. Thanks as always for listening and please make sure and go to iTunes and rate the show 5-stars and leave us a little review. We have a blast doing this for you for free on Fridays and hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

Thanks for everything,


Direct download: Show_196.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:14pm EDT

We're high right now.

...moving on...

On today's show:

Kid Famous in Studio.

Paul's Neighbor

Anal Galnds 

Trip to D-Rugg's House

DMT & other drugs

Rap Saturation

"I'm ont a rapist yet..."

Wrestling Wedding

We Need Grills

"It's my dick. It's Clean. - Kid Famous

Pubes and Coke

Lawnmower Man

Timmy. Oh Timmy.

Thanks for listening folks.

Too high to type.

Tom and Dan

Direct download: Show_195.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:54pm EDT

Description to follow.


Direct download: Show_194.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:27pm EDT

Thanks for listening to the show, downloading, and for supporting the show. Today was a blast of fun being that it was a pretty odd week for both me and Tom. I'm still beating the old job trail and trying to find something that's going to fill my time when I'm not working and doing things for the show. The emails and support that we've been shown has been fantastic and we truly can't thank you guys enough. You're the f'n best! Seriously! We couldn't ask for a better group of supporters and listeners. If you want more than just one "FREE Friday" show well then you're more than welcome to subscribe and check out the 2 extra shows that we give you on Tuesdays. Go to TomandDan.com and check out the "subscribe" area on there. You might like what you see and really enjoy it. We give you a brand new show and one "OG" show and we even tell you what to listen for in that particular episode. Enough plugging…

On today's show:

Can you Quack?

Samantha's car on fire.

Wife pooping.

Timmy gets out tomorrow.

Buffet…the code.

Steel Worker's Arm in a Gearbox.

Kris Angel.

The Forrest Game - Jenny.

Around the Same Time Doo-Doo.

Real Man/Gay Man.

D-Rugg "Beat that Movie Down."

Cheese Bug Drug.

Thanks again for listening and please make sure and rate us 5-stars on iTunes and leave us a little review. It really helps us out and we appreciate it.

THanks as always…BDM's, we'll see you on Tuesday for another new show. "Poor-O's" we'll see you next week.


Direct download: Show_193.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:34pm EDT